Change is an inevitable part of life, especially when we’re pursuing dreams and goals that mean the world to us. However, change doesn’t just involve adopting new habits or routines; it often requires us to let go of old ones that no longer serve us.
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Here are five things I did or gave up to have more success, happiness, and fulfillment in my life:
- Stop Playing the Victim
The first and perhaps most crucial step is to stop seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances. We often believe that life happens to us and that we are powerless in the face of our challenges. I often asked, “Why me?” in the face of adversity. The key to change is shifting this mindset to see every challenge as an opportunity for growth and learning. It’s about moving from a “Why me?” attitude to an “I get to” perspective.
- Eliminate the “Shoulds”
How often do you catch yourself saying, “I should be doing this” or “I should be better at that”? These “shoulds” subtly imply that we’re not good enough. Letting go of these unnecessary pressures allows us to appreciate our present moments more fully. For instance, when I stopped “should”-ing myself while biking, I began to enjoy the ride. I was able to celebrate my accomplishment of getting on my bike rather than berating myself for not riding faster.
- Quit the Comparison Game
Comparing ourselves to others is a fast track to unhappiness. I call it the “comparison despair dilemma.” It’s easy to look at others and wonder, “Why can’t I have that?” or to belittle their achievements to make ourselves feel better. The antidote? Celebrate others’ successes and see them as indicators of what’s also possible for you. This shift from envy to celebration can dramatically change your outlook on life and your own achievements.
- Face What You’re Avoiding
Avoidance can be subtle but significantly limiting. It might be avoiding difficult conversations, decisions, or even facing our true feelings about our life’s path. Confront what you’re avoiding. Addressing these fears head-on can open up new pathways for growth and prevent your life from contracting into a state of stagnation.
- Stop Complaining
It was important for me to give up complaining. While it might feel satisfying in the moment, complaining often stems from a feeling of victimhood and powerlessness. Instead, try asking yourself what you would love instead of what you’re complaining about. This reframing can shift your focus from problems to solutions and from powerlessness to agency.
Your Dreams Matter
This approach to personal growth is both empowering and challenging. It’s about taking responsibility for our lives, enjoying our journey, and creating a mindset that supports our dreams and goals.
If you’ve given up something that changed your life for the better, share it in the comments below. Let’s inspire each other with our stories of transformation and growth!
Here is to you living the best version of yourself!
XO,
River
